okay here is the deal, the guelph grotto (hawtest gym in ontario), seeks three new employees. now settle down, i know a life of chalk dust and putting harnesses on kids sounds awesome think long and hard about this. here are the three positions….

1) a full time gym manager that has previous experience and isn’t a complete douche bag. we need a minimum commitment of one year. wage to be discussed and based on past work history. there will also be a three month probation period after which its like the mob. either life or cement shoes.

2) we also run the best portable wall program in ontario, we need two people to travel around with a bag of hammers and home made corn liquor to assist the current wall staff. now this gig is approx. 3/4 full time and pays on a contract basis (per class instructed). this position is an ideal for the climbing bum/carney. standard high school holidays off, including exams and slow periods.  so if sitting around watching season three of star trek tng or belaying dirty friends in mexico is your cup of tea, sign up.

now this is important!!!! i don’t want any phone calls at the gym regarding these positions. if you are on the answering machine or talking to me in the next few weeks you are omitted from the chance of these jobs (with the exception of dj rat houdini, tiff or tvr). send e-mails to info@guelphgrotto.com with resume and all important stuff (if you excel at pottery let us know). the subject should be… give me a job sucka. we will contact those who have the right tempermant to excel in such a work place. feel free to come say hi to me from 5-10:30 weekdays or 10-6 saturday. you will be run through the obstacle course and given a psych test. oh and this is a serious offer. come be our friends. p.s. you’ll have to move to guelph…like that’s a bad thing!